erotic personal-sexual desire-love online

May is Masturbation Month. Celebrate!
by Shayla Pandava Masturbation. Shudder at the thought ye innocents. In fact, many schools of thought throughout history have gleefully told us just how evil masturbation is. And most of the ideas have stuck, so that we're almost as ashamed and afraid (not to mention ignorant) of our procreative plumbing as our most superstitious foreparents. One of the big commandments is use your seed only for procreation. Never mind that every male who's ever walked the planet could potentially make enough seed in the course of his lifetime to overpopulate the species to extinction. Seems like the concept of waste was built into the process.

Since May is Masturbation Month, you may be hearing a bit of buzz about the art and its battered history through Puritanism. Toys in Babeland for example, in their historical overview reminds us that Mr. Kellogg invented cornflakes as a sort of anti-Viagra to curb the vile practice of masturbation. Kellog was seriously anti-self-love. If the flakes didn't take, his fallback plan was to circumcise the meat beater without an anesthetic. Oh, the nineteenth century. You gotta love it. Straight jackets, spike-filled penile sheaths, chastity belts -- all the human ingenuity that went into "curing" a poor "diseased" wanker. And they had good common sense to back them up. Dr. Susan Block recently cited some of the notions these people had about masturbation -- that it causes "warts, blindness, insanity, and hair on the palms," -- oh, and damnation. Lucky for us, ingenuity has moved on to i-pods and satellite phones (well, unless you count the evil geniuses at fuckingmachines.com).

In her latest book, Orgasms for Two, Betty Dodson (the "oversexed grandmother" of masturbation) mentions that one girl she spoke to about masturbation thought that too much orgasmic pleasure might lead to heart attack. Alas, masturbation's bad rep lives on.

As you read this and reminisce about things you've been told yourself about masturbation, you can probably come up with a long list of tribulations that might befall you if you masturbate. "It'll fall off." Heard that one? Or how about, "anyone who has to masturbate is a loser"? Pervert? Oversexed? Obsessed? ...

Well, damn it, it's Masturbation Month and you can throw all that anti-data into the shredder and get a grip on yourself. We're going to party, slap-happy style.

Masturbation Month was initially started by the owners of the San Francisco sex toy store Good Vibrations in response to all the flak Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders took for daring to mention that masturbation was a healthy thing (she lasted about 15 months). And now, here we are, in the ninth annual Masturbation Month, and sex enthusiasts and purveyors across the nation are celebrating by sponsoring special events, discounts, guest speakers, you name it. If you've got a really happening toy store nearby, you may even have a Masturbate-a-thon going in your neighborhood. Dark Lady in Portland is sponsoring a huge '50s themed Masturbate-a-thon bash on May 22. New York City's Toys in Babeland store takes its Masturbate-a-thon national with the film crew of HBO's Real Sex. The Real Sex folk'll be in the store May 16, from 3 - 9 p.m. to "see how they come."

Unlike the Toys in Babeland production, the "hard work" of most masturbate-a-thons is done in private and you're on the honor system to report how many whacks or minutes or hours you put in. Like a walk-a-thon (except your fingers do the walking) you collect sponsors, use an official entry form, and get sponsors to pay up as soon as you record just how much of a wanker you are. Since there is yet no national Masturbate-a-thon committee, details vary from one sponsoring organization to another, including the charities that will benefit from the event.

But you don't have to put it on paper to celebrate Masturbation Month. Rev up your favorite toy or seize your favorite joy stick and let er rip.

Why? Because after hundreds of years of bad press, masturbation, we now know, is good for you. Let us count the ways:

It's a learning experience. If you do it slow and take mental notes, you'll learn more about your sexual responses. Some women learn how to achieve orgasm through masturbation (the better for future lovers).

It's healthy. Can you say cardiovascular workout? Also, recent studies connect ejaculation with lower rates of prostate cancer. And women's orgasm aids in healthy vaginal pH balance -- fewer yeast infections. Orgasm has been connected to better bladder control and weight loss, and the production of various hormones during sex can stimulate nurturing responses, improve mood disorders, reduce risk of heart disease. All these benefits come free with every masturbation session. In Eastern thinking, orgasm stimulates the flow of sexual energy; better flow equals more inner balance and better health. And doing it without a partner reduces the risk of infections that come with close contact (especially in the case of multiple partners).

It makes your partner-sex better. You keep blood flowing into the area which strengthens the plumbing. You also exercise your PC muscles -- stronger PCs, better orgasms. Then you can teach your lover all you discover.

Masturbation aids relaxation. It releases endorphins -- think runner's high. But it's also a way to take you out of your head and into your body. Your body can often uncomplicate what the mind spends all day complicating.

Plus it's pure pleasure, and what's wrong with pleasure already?

It's a gesture of self-acceptance. Nurturing starts at home. So do love and sex appeal. It is easier to attract love, when you are able to give it without guilt, shame, or self-consciousness. Love your body and others will love it too.

And finally, masturbation is an inexpensive date, no strings attached, no head games, and it knows just how you like it.

So go for it.

[Next week, we'll talk about the tricks and the toys (yes, there are toys for men!) that will help fill out your celebration of Masturbation Month.]