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Part 2: Ultimate Sex Tipper
by Editors with Violet Blue

You may start seeing Violet Blue everywhere. She's in October's O Magazine. She'll be on Playboy TV's Sexcetera in January. She's been interviewed in countless magazines, and when you seek out sex tips at your local book store, you'll find she has her own collection in the Sex and Health section: The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos (see the review in our archives), and hot off the presses, The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy (look for the review, coming up in our "Sex in the News" column.) Currently, she's working on a new book, Best American Sex Essays. To get a break from researching and writing, the sexy Blue goes into a phone booth and comes out: Battlebot Girl, where she helps run huge robotic macro war games as a member of the team at SRI (Survival Research Laboratories) -- actually even as Battlebot girl, Violet blue is sexy (check back for the pic: Battlebot Girl, naked in oil).

This is the Part 2 of our Violet Blue interview. For Part 1 see archives.

AFF: If someone feels s/he is already an expert in cunnilingus or fellatio, what advanced tips could you offer them?

BLUE: Next time you go down on a man or woman, slip a finger vibrator on, and let your finger buzz those sweet spots while you lick and suck. Try going down while he/she wears an anal plug. Blindfold them, tie them down, and then take your time. Alternate swishing hot tea in your mouth with ice water to cool down/heat up your mouth. Really test your skills and do it in public.

AFF: What's a man's most underrated sweet spot and why?

BLUE: The underside of the penis head is the darling spot for sure, but the balls are underrated. Gently rub, lightly squeeze and tug. Never tickle or slap unless he specifically requests.

AFF: What's a woman's most underrated sweet spot and why?

BLUE: The queen of all spots is the side of the clitoris (usually left), but the most underrated spot is right on top. Just above the clitoris and under the skin is where the ligament connects the clitoral crura to the pubic bone (it feels like a soda straw if you roll your finger back and forth over it when she's aroused). Firm licks on this are a great warmer-upper.

AFF: You review and sell porn flicks -- how many porn flicks would you say you've seen over the course of your career?

BLUE: Oh Jesus in a sparkly rubber thong -- seriously? Over 1000. Really. Wow. I never counted until this interview... seven years of professional reviews, plus an extra 300+ for my book. Phew!

AFF: To what degree do you "take your work home with you?" Is there ever a
time when that can be not such a good thing?

BLUE: Between the books and my review work at a women-owned sex toy store (Good Vibrations), there isn't much of a line anymore. Especially when I love sex so much, and I'm in a unique position to write about a variety of sexual topics -- it never gets boring because there's always the next idea, topic, book, or sexual cultural phenomenon to explore with interviews, research, chat groups, trying it for myself... I also don't let myself get bored; I'm very restless and have a hard time doing the same thing over and over. I'd say the only things I get burned out on are watching porn films that are the same old stereotypical bullshit, and sex guidebooks that are formula, mass-produced drek. Once I watched bukkake and it made me depressed for a few days, until I talked about it on a radio show and I got all these calls from gay men all over the U.S. that love watching bukkake! (Bukkake is when dozens of men masturbate and ejaculate on a woman; she has no fun at all. The gay men who called in love to watch it to see the guys! One of the callers even had a shirt that said, "Ask me about bukkake.") That made me laugh and see it in a different way.

AFF: Are you at the point where just about any kind of porn can turn you on
or do you still have your special favorites?

BLUE: Oh, no no no. Now my tastes have become refined -- not just any porn will do, and I know now more than ever exactly what turns me on. I'm sometimes pleasantly surprised, though, when I find something new in porn I didn't know would get me aroused. I love that it still happens. But John Leslie's videos are an exception: any one of his will do the trick nicely, thank you very much!

AFF: What do you personally like to see in porn -- or does it vary depending
on what you're using the porn for?

BLUE: Most of all, I want to see people who really want to be there and are totally crazy to get in each other's pants and make each other come. Or with masturbation scenes, a really fierce orgasm (men and women!). I like natural lighting and no music, or unobtrusive music if there is any. Natural bodies -- I'll always take a pass on the overly made up Barbies and too-thick beefcake gym boys. I like European porn a lot because they're gorgeous, but not too made up or surgically altered. As for specific scenes, it depends on my whims -- one day a hot blowjob is what I want, the next two sexy girls, the day after I might want to watch gorgeous men jacking off...

AFF: For women who have never watched porn, what are some reasons they might want to get into it and how should they go about getting their toes (or whatever) wet.

BLUE: Porn can be a very powerful aphrodisiac for women -- everything you've heard about women not getting turned on by explicit imagery is false, and there have been several studies to prove it (spanning the past 12 years!). Porn is not only a turn-on, but it can be a really safe way to explore fantasies or check out sex, with no risk at all to the viewer. Curious about anal sex? Watch porn, or rent a how-to anal sex video by porn star and registered nurse Nina Hartley. Hate it? Eject the tape and you're done. Most of us (the few who even got Sex Ed classes in high school) have never seen adult, non-illustrated genitals, and porn can also be a great way of seeing what sex really looks like. Plus, it's really fun to watch porn with a lover, and you can play all kinds of naughty games while you watch.

AFF: Reading through your Guide to Adult Videos, I noticed that though many
women are using (and making) porn these days, women viewers still have to go to gay male porn to see films in which "men are sex objects" (as you nicely put it). I also noticed that in BDSM videos, submissive male product is overwhelmingly sparse. Do you feel this really represents the market out there? Do you see either of these situations changing in the near future?

BLUE: This does not represent the market or appetite for what's out there. Good bisexual porn, sexual objectification of men and male submissiveness is all in high demand, but pornographers don't understand (and tend to have distaste for) what drives these consumers. Too bad. The (very) few people that have made good films like this are cashing in.

AFF: One of our members wrote for advice recently asking, "Do lesbian women
ever just need a man?" I think your discussion of the differences between porn with bi-girl action and lesbian porn was very enlightening in this regard -- in terms of the totally different sensibilities between lesbian and bisexual sexuality. Could you talk a little about this?

[To be continued...]